I got a letter in the mail. Who does that anymore? We live in a world of technology, a world that makes us self-aware. We are who we are and there’s no changing that but there are those around us that make us hate ourselves. They bring us down to go on up.
Shaken to the core is how I felt, this letter captured something inside. My heart, my soul, all belonged to the stranger of the words. A stranger who wrote his life on the pages of this letter. A stranger that loved a little too much. Get to know him and you will see.
This is his letter.
Dear Loved Ones,
I’ve gone crazy. It has been months since his death and I blame myself. He was my friend, my brother, my everything. I met him out of luck one march afternoon, hearing rumors of a kid nobody liked because of the demons he had. Pablo was his name, a kid bullied and hurt into fear, sorrow and despair. Broken from the start he was, there was nothing me or anyone could do. I was his salvation and he my doom. He entered my world with hopes of change, but none of the love I gave could be enough for he was on his way to his end.
The bullying continued and my love could not have shielded him. He became distant and I should have known the signs but attention was all that screamed in my head. I knew him better and thought nothing of the posts or pictures. They were all for show. I blame myself for his death for he was there for me and I, his brother, left him when he needed it the most. Attention he did not want, he wanted a savior and thought he had found it in me. He was wrong!
I left him to his demons and his demons consumed him. On the floor of his room, his sister found him, blood pooling around him like an old friend, awaiting his arrival. I see his face everyday and cannot live with what I did, which is nothing. I stood by his side, knowing something was wrong, and let him take his life.
I hate myself for killing my friend. I hate the world for being so cruel. He wanted to change but never given the chance. I tried but failed, which is why I cannot take it. Life is cruel and has taken my friend, my brother, my everything. I cannot live in this world that takes all the good and corrupts them. All the drugs and hurt could not have made me numb from the pain. I hurt and there is only one way out.
I’m sorry! I just hurt so bad.
I can’t bear to sign it but you know who I am. I say goodbye to you and to this world. It hurt me so bad I can’t bear to live.
Death was not his end for he lives on in the hearts of those he loved and loved him back. I was one of those people, lucky enough to meet them both. A friend awaiting their arrival. I hate to claim the lives of good people especially when it’s not their time. I plead with those who plan to end it, don’t do it. It breaks my heart every time I claim your lives. I have seen over time the rise of despair. The world seems against you but there is always love and hope that might save you.There is always an option when it comes to death.
I am death and plead for you to continue your lives. Remember that there is always hope in the darkness that surrounds you. Seek it and you shall find it. I want nothing more than to never come until it is your time.