lost and found
in the sound of the hallowed footsteps,
i find my heart
in the view of a paralyzing gaze,
i find my mind
in the subtleness of the morning,
i find my words
and in the violent outbursts of the stars at night,
i find the light.
But in that light it’s easy to get lost
To be scared, and frightened and alone
To understand loss as if through a looking glass
I can touch my fingertips from both sides and it makes me wonder
Which side am I on? Either? Neither?
Then I’m floating.
to float is to fall
when i succumb to the feelings,
i feel them all
that its better to do the hurting than to be hurt
that doesn’t feel good when it should
so it better to float
out of reach of either
but when i float,
i often forget how to land
and stay up here much longer than i intended.
It's in the words that I feel grounded, in the stanzas that I feel safe
As if I can write these walls around me as armor
The words feel stronger than the paper
They are my buoyancy
An incomplete validity
They keep my head above the tide
But they widen the divide
And it’s in this calamity I reside
In my words I become electric and glowing
But what if I only exist there?
In the words?
In the turmoil?
Is this heart that beats only beating for the chaos?
So i float
But when i float, i forget how to land
And stay up there much longer than i intended.